If you ask people what they want, you'll get a list. Money. Relationships. Health. Success. A nice house. A fulfilling career. Time freedom.
But those are just the words.
Beneath the surface of every answer lies something deeper. Something that drives every decision, every ambition, every quiet longing.
Here's what people are really seeking.
Needs vs. Wants
To understand what people want, you have to understand the difference between needs and wants.
Needs are the foundation. They're the essentials required to survive and function — food, shelter, clothing, safety. These are universal and objective. Everyone needs them.
Wants are the personal expression. Unlike needs, wants are shaped by taste, culture, and personal preference. They're how we express who we are. A comfortable home. A meaningful career. A stylish car. These are personal.
But beneath both lies something more fundamental.
Maslow's Hierarchy
Psychologist Abraham Maslow famously mapped human needs in a hierarchy:
- Level 1: Physiological needs (food, water, shelter, sleep)
- Level 2: Safety needs (security, health, stability)
- Level 3: Love and belonging (friendship, family, community)
- Level 4: Esteem (respect, recognition, status)
- Level 5: Self-actualization (reaching your full potential)
The idea is simple: you can't focus on higher-level needs until your lower-level needs are met. A hungry person isn't thinking about self-actualization. A person without safety isn't thinking about belonging.
But here's the twist: People often pursue higher-level needs even when lower-level needs aren't fully met. They chase meaning when they're still struggling. They seek love when they're still hungry.
That's what makes us human.
The 16 Basic Desires
Psychologist Steven Reiss identified 16 basic desires that motivate all human behavior. These are universal, measurable goals that drive us all:
- Power
- Independence
- Curiosity
- Acceptance
- Order
- Saving
- Honor
- Idealism
- Social Contact
- Family
- Status
- Vengeance
- Romance
- Eating
- Physical Activity
- Tranquility
Key insight: Feeling good (the "pleasure principle") is not our primary driver. People often pursue goals like power, curiosity, or honor even when they're painful or anxiety-inducing. We're not just pleasure-seekers. We're meaning-seekers.
Love, Belonging, and Appreciation
Research points to three core psychological needs that dominate how people navigate the world:
- Love: The desire to give and receive affection
- Belonging: The need to be part of something larger than ourselves
- Appreciation/Approval: The drive to be valued and recognized
The need for external validation is particularly powerful. Many people pursue value and approval from others — seeking belonging through community or status through material possessions. The motivation is often an attempt to create self-worth that wasn't fostered internally.
What the Data Reveals
Over the last decade, there has been a significant shift in what people value.
People are shifting away from pure materialism. A majority of people (52%, up from 39% in 2013) are now willing to spend extra for a brand with an image that appeals to them. This suggests a growing desire to align with values and purpose, not just acquire things.
People want human-centric experiences. They're increasingly willing to pay more for high-quality experiences (69%) and expect environments to support connection and community. The desire for purpose and fulfillment is overtaking the desire for mere consumption.
But price still matters. Even as values shift, practical realities remain. When it comes to actual purchasing decisions, price beats brand values, and quality beats price. This reveals the constant tension between what we want and what we can afford.
The Four Pillars
Ultimately, the research converges on a few key pillars:
- Security and Stability: Basic needs, health, and financial security
- Connection and Belonging: Meaningful relationships, love, and social bonds
- Purpose and Meaning: A sense of contribution, growth, and self-actualization
- Experience and Fulfillment: Time freedom, travel, health, and moments that matter
What This Means for MegaFish
I built MegaFish because I saw what dating apps had become. They gamify human connection. They profit from loneliness. They treat people like products.
But what people really want is connection. Real connection. Not swipes. Not algorithms. Not paywalls.
They want to be seen. They want to be valued. They want to belong. They want to love and be loved.
That's what MegaFish is. Free forever. No swiping. No BS. Just real people looking for real connections.
🐟 Ready to build something real? I build dating sites, blogs, and web apps — Flask, SQLite, Ubuntu, Cloudflare. Starting at $500.
"Slow and steady wins the race. Move an inch every day."
— Jimmy Presnell